things you'd never say to me
by alsoalsowik
Summary: TLBD. They fight. Of course they fight, what with her being "buried in a mountain of student loans" (that she got herself into, and will get herself out of, she says), and him wanting to make them all go away (it would really be no problem, he tells her). Usually, they kiss, make up, and move past it. But not this time. This time is different.


A/N: This is my first fic in quite some time, so constructive criticism is much appreciated!

* * *

They fight. _Of course_ they fight, what with her being "buried in a mountain of student loans" (that she got herself into, and will get herself out of, she says), and him wanting to make them all go away (it would really be no problem, he tells her). Usually, they kiss, make up, and move past it. But not this time. This time is different.

Lizzie isn't sure what brought this particular bickering match on. They've been fighting a lot recently, and neither one knows how to stop it. It's as if they're getting warmer and warmer, only to boil over in a fit of rage. Lizzie loves him, she_ really_ does, but sometimes she wonders if they made the right decision in being together.

And she says as much on that bright summer day, the weather seeming grossly inappropriate for the events going on inside the sleek San Francisco condo.

"Maybe we should just end it!" She regrets the words almost as soon as they leave her lips, and is about to rush out an apology, when she is cut off by his terse reply.

"Fine."

Lizzie doesn't stay long enough after that to notice him starting to form the word "wait". She whips around to leave, hair leaving a fiery trail in her wake. She's out the door and into her car before William can fully comprehend what just happened.

* * *

At home, Lizzie is a mess. Of course she's been through breakups before (two as a matter of fact: one her senior year in high school, and one her sophomore year of college), but this is different. It's her first Grownup Relationship, and she's gone and screwed it up. Jane isn't there to make her tea, so Lizzie relies on Lydia for support. Unfortunately, Lydia's response is to drag Lizzie to a bar (not Carter's) and get her somewhat drunk.

Lizzie, however, objects to this. Instead, she stays in bed and marathons every Nicholas Sparks movie ever. And okay, she realizes it's a bit over dramatic to watch all these movies that she doesn't even _like_ (they're all the same, she explains to Lydia), but she _is_ all about the drama.

The next day is worse. Lizzie is used to talking to Will every night when she's away, and the sudden lack of contact caused her sleep to be fitful. Even with all of the fighting, he still managed to be a calming presence in her life. Well, calmer than her mother and sisters, anyway. When she wakes up, the full extent of what happened hits her like a ton of bricks. She and William are most likely over. After that thought, she decides to spend an entire day in bed watching the Diaries.

By the time she reaches episode 60, the bright sun has turned to dreary clouds and sporadic rain. Watching the videos was _supposed_ to make Lizzie feel better, but (not shockingly) it's had the opposite effect. Where, before, she might have been able to laugh at her brutal characterization of William, she now cringes and chokes back tears. It's just so _hard_ to watch herself berate this man without even knowing him. Just as Onscreen William is about to confess his love to her, she hears a knock at her door.

"Lydia, go _away_." She says, voice hoarse from crying. "I _really_ don't feel like having a heart to heart right no-"

But before she can finish her lament, the door opens. It isn't Lydia.

* * *

William Darcy loves his girlfriend. He is so completely and utterly in love with her that he can't stand to see drowning in debt. At least, not while he can help it. This causes problems. Big ones. Big, screaming, "I don't _need_ your help!", ones. So they fight. A lot. But this one, Darcy can feel, is different. He's just about start profusely apologizing when he hears _those _words come out of her mouth. He is so absolutely shocked that before he can even realize, he' replying.

"Fine."

A wave of dread washes over him as he watches her leave. He tries to tell her to wait, and that he _truly_ didn't mean it, but he's too late. Lizzie Bennet, the girl that he has worked so hard for, has just stormed out of their apartment. And then, he crumbles.

Gigi comes by after he doesn't answer his phone (she's been a little oversensitive to this kind of thing ever since the accident) for the tenth time.

"What did you do?" she demands.

"Well," he replies, his voice unnervingly calm, "I think that I just broke up with Lizzie."

The ensuing screech in ear numbing.

Darcy then spends the rest of the day and night moping around, not really in the mood to talk to his sister. Now rationally, he knows that his life is not over, but it sure as hell feels like it. This is his first real breakup (he shudders to _actually_ call it that) and he feels it in the deepest part of his heart. So, he watches some sappy movie that Gigi likes. It turns out that _Titanic_ is just as depressing as he thought it would be. It does not put him in a good mood.

Finally, the next morning, Gigi forces him to talk about it.

"William, I swear to God! How can you be so stupid? You need to go fix this. _Now_."

"Georgiana, you are not in charge of my love life, even though you may pretend to be. Besides, why do you think Lizzie would even want to see me right now?" he questions.

"William, she was _hurt_. Go. Now. You take the car and I'll catch a ride from somebody to tennis."

The next thing he knows, he's driving to go _try_ and fix things with the girl he so madly loves. A feeling of dread settles in his stomach, much like when he confessed his love to her the first time. But he pushes past it. The next thing he knows, he's on the front steps of the Bennet's house in the rain, convincing Lydia to let him talk to Lizzie.

"Fine, Darceface. But if you ever hurt my sister again, I will not hesitate to castrate you."

* * *

"Excuse me, Lizzie," William says softly. Upon seeing her with a tearstained face, watching _those_ videos, his voice seems to have gone missing. Lizzie can't believe that he's here, in her bedroom, wanting to talk to her after she basically screwed up their entire relationship. "May I sit?"

She just nods, unsure of how to proceed.

"I just want you to know," he starts, "I want you to know that what I said back at the-at our apartment, I most certainly did not mean. And I think, or rather, I hope, that you didn't mean what you said either. Lizzie Bennet I –"

She interrupts him here.

"William, I didn't mean it! I just… well we've just," she pauses, thinking of how to phrase what she wants, no, what she _needs_ to say.

"We've just been fighting so much, and you know I love you, but I was just being stupid and I just spoke without thinking a-"

Her apology is cut off with a kiss. Lizzie's eyes fill with tears as she realizes that this man, this wonderful, perfect (well, not _perfect_) man still wants to be with her.

"_You_ spoke without thinking?" he asks. "I think I win the award for speaking without prior thought." he concludes, wiping away her tears.

"But… but I practically ended our relationship! How can you just," she begins, looking up through her eyelashes, "forgive me like that?"

"It's pretty simple actually. I forgave you so easily because I love you. Lizzie, I have loved you for quite some time, and have fought vehemently for you. There is no way in hell that I would let you go without a fight."

This time she kisses him, and her tears are those of happiness.

fin.


End file.
